


Ten Steps

by deanmorellisbane



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, No Happy Ending Fest, Not A Happy Ending, everyone is ooc, idk what to tag, im not sorry, lol, no beta we die like men, sakusa is ooc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:22:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26887300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanmorellisbane/pseuds/deanmorellisbane
Summary: Ten Steps.It took them ten steps to reach their loved ones. But in their cases, this would be their last ten steps.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Miya Osamu/Tsukishima Kei, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Miya Osamu/Tsukishima Kei/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	Ten Steps

**Author's Note:**

> The only warning here is my horrible grammar and also major character death and suicide

The sound of crying and wailing in the church was deafening.

There’s a group of friends huddled near a brown, wooden casket, hugging and crying on each others shoulders. Screaming how this is not true and asking for God to give him back to them, to return him back their sides.

A middle aged woman - the mother - standing in front of a cross with her husband next to her, clasping their hands together as they’re praying to the God. Most probably praying that their son would be in heaven.

The best friend sat at the front of the spew, looking down to his hands. No tears was shed, no voice was screamed and no punch was made. He just sat there, looking lifeless like his childhood friend in the casket. Or maybe he’s praying to God too.

The brother sat next to the best friend, looking lifeless as well but his eyes are red. He looked blankly to the window glass in front of him, watching how the sky went from sunny to dark with warning of rain. His knuckles were bruised and he looked exhausted. He looked defeated.

Sakusa Kiyoomi stepped out from the dark place he hid.

His gaze fell on the grey haired man with an undercut sitting at the middle of the spew. Bowing as he tried his best to hid his tears. Was it tears of guilt? Or sadness? Sakusa will never knew nor can he go and comfort the other man.

He took a deep breath. And took a step forward.

* * *

**_**First step. Inhale.** _ **

**__ **

_“Can you- I’m- Please Omi,” Tsukishima pleaded. He looked skinny and pale, almost sick with those dark bag under his eyes. Other people would’ve noticed that something is wrong with him._

_But not him. Not to Sakusa._

_“Please stay with me tonight? Just for tonight? Pl-please Omi..”_

_Sakusa’s heart melted a little by that plead. But the buzzing from his phone stopped the melting of his heart, in fact, somehow it hardened his heart more._

_“I can’t Kei, I promised the team I’d hang out with them tonight” he said but before that, he patted his lover’s head, “I’ll be back before midnight okay?”_

_And with that, he just left without even looking back. Without even seeing the broken look Tsukishima gave him._

**_**Second step. Exhale.** _ **

**__ **

_“Do you think you can come home for dinner tonight?” Tsukishima asked with a little hope in his voice._

_Sakusa, who’s still on his phone without even looking away, answered, “I can’t tonight, the team wanted to have a late night practice, I don’t think I can even come back home tonight.”_

_“Oh,” Tsukishima said dejectedly. His hand gripped onto his bandaged wrist defensively. He quickly stood up and gave a quick excuse on how he needed to use the bathroom right now._

_Sakusa hummed in acknowledgement. Forgetting the fact that today is Tsukishima’s birthday._

**_**Third step. Inhale.** _ **

**__ **

_“He-hello, Omi?” Tsukishima called out in the phone, his voice small._

_“Kei, I have practice right now, I’ll call you later okay?” Sakusa rushed as his teammates started to called out for him. He could hear Tsukishima whimpered softly as he took in a shaky breath._

_“Promise you’ll call me-”_

_“SAKUSA!”_

_“Kei, I have to go, bye” he quickly hung up and kept his phone in his bag. Not noticing how sad and broken Tsukishima’s voice was on the phone._

**_**Fourth step. Exhale.** _ **

**__ **

_“Do- do chu evwen love mwe?” Tsukishima slurred as Sakusa settled him down on their bed. The bed they haven’t shared for a long time now._

_Sakusa frowned. “You’re drunk Kei, go back to sleep” he said as he pulled the cover to his lovers’ chest._

_“Nwo im nwot!” the blonde exclaimed, but Sakusa didn’t replied as he quickly stood up and made his way towards the door._

_“I’m going to sleep with Kuroo tonight on his bed, get some sleep, Tsukishima”_

_And then he left_

_Silence_

_A breathy sigh was heard in the deafeningly quiet room. Then, a sober voice whispered; “Maybe you don’t anymore”_

**_**Fifth step. Inhale.** _ **

_Sakusa had to held on everything he had to not laugh at the sight in front of him. Tsukishima is wasted as he is blubbering about random things. How he wished he can record this and show it to Kuroo and Osamu. But he didn’t want to miss anything._

_Then, suddenly, Tsukishima stopped his blubbering and sat up straight, looking serious, making Sakusa jumped slightly in his seat._

_Tsukishima set his head in hand and he gave Sakusa a sad look._

_“Ya know, every night, I’d prayed that all ofw youw will still louve me” he slurred as Sakusa raised his brow in surprise by that information._

_“I thought you don’t believe in God” he pointed out._

_“Nwo, I down’t” he confirmed drunkenly. “Bwut I’d do anything for the three of you to still love me. But thwen, when I seew at how you lwook at me”_

_Tsukishima gave him a cold and blank gaze_

_“I noticed it’s gone”_

**_**Sixth step. Exhale.** _ **

**__ **

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

_Sakusa stopped his tapping when he noticed the blonde in front of him was staring at him, intently. He decided to ignore his lover._

_“Omi”_

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

_“Omi”_

_Tap. Tap. Tap._ _  
_

_“Daddy”_

_Thud._

_Sakusa dropped his pen and looked up to his blonde lover with his face red. He looked around, hoping that nobody heard the name Tsukishima just called him, thankfully, there was no one around and their other two lovers went to buy some food at the cafeteria._

_“What? I told you to not call me that in public!” he said in a harsh, whispered voice, the blush hasn’t even disappear yet._

_Tsukishima gave him a satisfied smirk with a hand under his chin._

_“Why? A red Omi is a fun Omi” he teased, causing the black haired man to look away, his blush worsening._

_“You’re horrible”_

_“Yes. Yes I am”_

**_**Seventh step. Inhale.** _ **

**__ **

_“What’s this?” Sakusa asked as he pulled out a necklace that had a ring in the middle. Tsukishima just stood there, face red and fidgeting in his stance._

_“You- you kept forgetting your ring” the blonde reminded with a blush creeping on his face, “and you also have to take it off whenever you play, so instead of taking it off, why not just.. wear it around your neck?”_

_Silence took over them and Tsukishima blushed even harder._

_“If you don’t like it-”_

_“No,” Sakusa stopped the blonde as he wore the necklace and gripped the ring in his fist. He looked up to Tsukishima and said in his most stoic expression. “Thank you, Kei. I love it”_

_Even though his feature was stoic, Tsukishima could see the sparkle in his eyes whenever his loved ones does something for him. And that made something in Tsukishima bloom._

_“W-whatever!”_

**_**Eight step. Exhale.** _ **

**__ **

_“Omi, go back to bed”_

_Sakusa looked up from his phone to his youngest lover. “Are you gonna go back to bed with me?”_

_“No, I’ve told you, I have-”_

_“Then, no” Sakusa interrupted before going back to his phone. “I told you Kei. Unless you go back to bed too, I won’t move an inch from here” he said nonchalantly, making Tsukishima irritated._

_“You have classes tomorrow, Kiyoomi” he reminded angrily._

_“So do you, Kei” he shot back. “You’re doing a paper that is supposed to be handed over next month, you don’t sleep much anymore” Sakusa said with a stern tone, but that didn’t put Tsukishima down. Not even a little._

_“Fine, be stubborn! See if I care” the blonde huffed before going back to his work._

_Sakusa laid his head on the arm rest as his long legs propped over the other arm rest. “Fine, be that way, I’m still going to stay here” he said before turning his back against his youngest lover._

_Silence took over them for a few seconds before Tsukishima spoke up._

_“You’re gonna ache all over if you sleep like that”_

_“Then let’s go back to bed”_

_An exasperated sigh._

**_**Ninth step. Exhale.** _ **

**__ **

_He watched as Inarizaki fought endlessly against the so called ‘fallen crows’. he wasn’t really interested with this match after it a few minutes it started, but when he saw the weird quick, he felt intrigued. And slightly threatened._

_And when he saw the Miya twins also did the weird quick he felt his heart beat rate fasten. Feeling the excitement like the others but he held back that feeling. Not wanting anyone - especially Motoya - saw his excitement._

**__ **

_And that is when_ **_**that** _ ** _happened._

_The Karasuno’s no. 11 somehow managed to stop the weird quick and he didn’t even look bothered at all after he managed to stop it._

_“Hey, Motoya” he called out to his friend, without even looking away from Tsukishima. “That no. 11… who’s that?”_

_Motoya gave the black haired boy a confused look._

_“That’s Osamu. The other Miya twins”_

_“Not that idiot” he snapped, looking away from the tall blonde on the court. “That no.11 from Karasuno.. who’s that?”_

_“Oh!” the brown haired man exclaimed before leaning his top on the railing. Silently hoping that his anti-social friend wouldn’t go find that tall boy after the match. “That’s Tsukishima Kei! Their middle blocker”_

_“Tsukishima Kei” he whispered to himself as he continuously watched the taller boy play. With a smile hidden behind his mask, he added._

_“Ain’t he one interesting fella’”_

**_**Tenth step. Exhale** _ ** _._

_He watched as the tall blonde slept peacefully on his chest._

_He could hear Kuroo’s annoying snore and Osamu’s teeth grinding next to them, but somehow, he didn’t found it in him to be annoyed by them right now._

_He loved how peaceful Tsukishima looked. How his now long blonde hair swept to the side softly, his nose scrunched up a little as he unconsciously bit his lower lip. A habit he always had._

_Oh how Sakusa wanted to kiss him there and then._

_But he just laid there. His arms bringing Tsukishima closer to him and softly ran his fingers through Tsukishima’s hair._

_“I love you” he whispered as he kissed the other man’s forehead. The blonde squirmed in his hold and hugged Sakusa back. Tightly._

_“’love ya too”_

* * *

Sakusa stopped right by the first spew. Everyone’s attention now turned to him. He was expecting the scream and the blame.

The punch, the slap and maybe the kick.

Because he deserved that.

He was the one who left Tsukishima alone.

He was the one who abandoned him.

He was the one who pushed Tsukishima to finally take his own life.

All his fault.

But instead of punches and kicks, he felt suffocated as his lungs starting to close up. He couldn’t breath. He can’t breath.

He doesn’t want to.

He heard the yelling, telling him to breath, to inhale.

But he doesn’t want to. Doesn’t deserve it.

_‘Kei’_ he wanted to call out, but couldn’t. He’s on his knees now, his face’s starting to turned purple and blue and everyone tried their best to help him. But he doesn’t want that.

He wanted Kei.

He wanted his soft kisses and sarcastic remarks.

He wanted his warm touches and straight-forwardness.

He wanted to join him.

_‘Wait for me, Kei’_ he screamed in his head _. ‘I’m coming for you’_

He fell on his stomach, darkness overcoming him. And before he passed out, he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

“No! I am not letting you go too!”

Osamu?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was based on my other fic on another fandom. It had the same concept, but this is more meaner bcus i'm a monster lol. And I apologize for the grammatical error, English is not my first word, so bear with me humans. I'll make sure to post soon... when I feel like it Lol


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